I drown in petroleum distillates.

I just returned from Boston where I dropped Izzy and Zanne off at Logan airport. They are probably somewhere over Michigan right now en route to Seattle. Before we left Izzy and I went to the back yard and she said goodbye to everything: her sand pile, the apple tree she loves to climb and all her toys strewn over the yard. Zanne was teary eyed as we left and she and Iz said good bye to the house. Izzy fell right to sleep in the car and slept most of the car ride to Boston. Once at the airport she was giddy with excitement and told me not to be sad because she will write me letters to make me happy. At the gate she said she would miss me and we hugged and kissed goodbye, but all the while she kept looking down the ramp toward the gate with anticipation. She was ready to dive into the mass of humanity to see what was on the other side. She is so my daughter. I watched them walk down the ramp to security and Izzy would turn around every few feet to blow me a kiss. I would blow one back and she would jump up to grab it. I stood there until they were lost to my eyes in the sea of travelers.

Sheetrock makes it all look so finished. Shit I only wish. I have piles of work left to do: finish the bathroom, put in the floors, connect all the new panel heaters, finish the mudroom and the list just goes on and on. Today was a sad day because I am not going to see Izzy for over a month. So much happens in a month when they are this age. At the same time with she and Zanne gone I can focus on finishing all the projects. I have many a 16 hour day ahead. I hope all the work I have done to this house all the blood, sweat and F$%%^&%^^& pays off.

While on the way to Boston tonight Zanne caught a bumper sticker that said “Not all who wander are lost.” She looked at me smiled. It is true I do tend to wander, this move will be my 15th major move since I left high school, but I never feel lost, just sometimes trapped.